When you're already depressed about your child, this is the last song to play. I lost it, I actually laid in my bed, kicked my feet and hit with my hands and yelled I HATE YOU, to my dead mother. I really don't hate her, but how wonderful would it to know a mothers love? Know the experience of having a mom or remembering back to one when in a sad or scared part of parenting.
I have such fading memories of her.
Lets start with this one:
My mother died when I was 8, she worked in a gas station as the manager and had to back into work to make sure the money was counted correctly. I asked my mom if I could go over to my friends house to spend the night, and after about an hour of screaming I hate you mommy, she let me go. The next morning, when I came home she was gone. I swore I would never say those words to anyone, and yet again, my mother was told yet again, I hate her.
I don't, I was being a child, we all have those moments. I wanted her to hold me, tell me things are going to be okay, sing her favorite Elvis song (I can't help falling in love with you) I remeber laying on her lap and her singing that song and rocking me when I had a bad day, was sick or just a moment she had to hold me. I can see her smile when I close my eyes, I can also see her tears, and pray with all my heart she did know how much I loved her and how much I miss her and need her now.
I need to know what to do and how to do it. I want my mommy, yep, my MOMMY to hold me and just whisper our song in my ear.
The pic I have for your blog is a bird called the blue-footed boobie (no lie) and it is found in the Galapagos Islands. This island group is where Charles Darwin first conceived of his notion of evolution. The ship he sailed on to get there was called the HMS Beagle. Why do I sound like a fifth grader making a book report? Love to you and keep thinking of your mom. At times I envy you because you have children and then other times I marvel that anyone on earth can want to handle that responsibility.
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