I have had a self revelation in the past few weeks all because of dreams.... haha.. sounds funny, eh?
I have dreamt that Mike moved away and I never heard from him again, I have had two dreams involving Tricia being best friends with Angie the slut from NC and then another family... lol... gotta admit this is funny... Todd kissing another girl on my birthday. Danielle moving to another state.. I see it... The people I love the most and am so attached to are putting me on the lookout for the floor to drop again...
I know I never have to worry about this, I think it's how I have lived most of my life... waiting for something bad to happen and keeping myself low so I don't feel the pain as bad... is that a way to live??
No! I had another cancer scare (gets tiring) my Dr had me set up to see an oncologist but my blood came back okay... 2 months ago I would have been so sad to realize I wasn't dying..lol.. now, when I was again told about the possibility of cancer, I was scared... learning I was okay and hearing Todd's simple and sweet question "I'm not losing you?" made me so happy...
I will always have physical issues, is a part of the symptoms of PTST... I just gotta stop allowing it to rule my life!!
My family and friends are too important to me!!
Number 1 - Thanks for clarifying which Angie you are talking about. A very apt adjective.
ReplyDeleteNo. 2 - You didn't tell me about your dream of me moving away. If that ever did happen it would be because I became homeless.
#3 - Keeping yourself low - reminds me of the movie "Tender Mercies" where the Robert Duvall character said 'I don't trust happy - it never sticks around very long.' It was a good line from a real good movie.
#4 - What Todd said was sweet. Maybe you should stop scaring him with that cat faced spider, eh?
#5 - It IS good to hear you say you were scared - your will to live.
Love you, M