I'm sure you have all seen these pictures to hang in your bedroom... the actual words didn't catch my eye until last night. I have read it and liked what it said but to be honest I bought it because it matched the colors of my bedroom...
I laid in bed alone last night, trying to focus on a magazine but I kept looking up at that picture and reading the words over and over again. It was like a thump on the head. This is not an order.. it is a wish. As my children grow I get fewer kisses but a lot more hugs. My heart aches for their little faces I have in memory to kiss me goodnight. As I sat in bed, trying to stay awake for Todd to come home and give me a kiss so I felt like the statement was serving more of a purpose than an art piece on my wall... he came home after I was asleep... and he kissed my forehead and in my asleep state I smiled because I had that kiss.
What about those people have no one to kiss them goodnight, hug them when they are sad, sit with them and talk for hours about nothing? What happens to their hearts? Do they break or do they harden? Do they crave love and are too afraid to find it? Scared of rejection? Maybe those people that have been put into nursing homes to finish their lives without the people they were there for their entire lives, do they miss the kisses at bedtime? What about the children who are in pain? Abused, unloved and unwanted..
The homeless people we pass daily, we never make eye contact...why? Is it because they disgust us or is it because we feel like there is nothing we can do? They crave love like the rest of us and that simple "I love you" kiss.... a conversation, the kindness of human contact, a shake of the hand, a how are you? Just being recognised as a human... how many of us walk past them as fast as we can but if we see an animal on pain or lost we stop and try to help? Do these people not deserve at the very least the same if not more? We need to make changes in our hearts to affect those in need.
I have been trying to put together a charity for the homeless, have been trying how to get it going for almost a year now. It is called "Socks For Souls". Notice I use the soul and not sole... I am trying to gather as many warm clothing and packages of unused socks and hand deliver these and actually let them know I care. Ask their names... shake their hand... give hugs when needed...
I need to do my part as a Christian and a human to surrender to those in need...
So, my "kiss me goodnight" sunk in deeper than ever and will always be a plea in my heart and not an order.
"The Warm Soul of Our Socks" to replace "The Worn Sole of Our Socks"?
ReplyDeleteYour 3rd paragraph about lonely, alone and homeless people who have no one to hug or kiss goodnight struck me. I turn off my light each night, looking at the pictures in my mind of the people and creatures I abandoned so I could chase what I told myself at the time was a dream. The truth is I knew immediately it was never a dream and I was just running away from responsibilities, from my age and my station in life. Everyone has midlife crises - most work through them and rationalize through them and continue on their way in life. I knew from the start what I was leaving behind and yet knew I was always going to be alone. I look at the pictures of my dogs and think of the family I left behind and know that I don't deserve any goodnight hugs or kisses - that I will never forgive myself nor, better yet, offer a chance for anyone else to forgive me either. And for some reason this comforts me. It's like I have committed murder and this is my punishment. It has helped me to stop thinking about the absolute worst things I've done in my life and thus has kept suicide at bay. It has been a great trick for me and I accept it and have come to wish that they would forget me, often. I fear if I go back there they will forgive me thus reminding me who I was and what I'd done. If I'm hurting myself then no one else can hurt me - and no one else has that right.